« Kerry’s Records | Home | Pervert In Pink »
Massachusetts To Make Disciplining of Children Illegal?
By Matt Margolis | June 8, 2005
I can’t believe I live in this crazy state…. TheBostonChannel.com reports that Massachusetts lawmakers plan to file a bill that would ban “corporal punishment in the commonwealth.”
…lawmakers are considering making “the willfull infliction of physical pain on children under 18,” illegal. The measure would prohibit corporal punishment including whipping, spanking and pinching. Also forbidden would be washing a child’s mouth out with soap and administering electric shocks.
I am by no means suggesting acts like whipping or administering electric shocks are justifiable forms of discipline… but spanking?
This is a bill disguised as a means of preventing child abuse, which will actually prevent parents from disciplining their children.
Granted, I’m not a parent, and have yet to be in a position to punish a child for doing something wrong, I would like to hear from anyone who is a parent about how they discipline(d) their kids, and how effective or ineffective various forms of punishment were.
Topics: General |
Related Posts:
June 8th, 2005 at 1:39 pm
Matt,
You truly live in the Land of Oz my friend. And I grew up there also.
Next, you’ll have to get a shrink to counsel your puppy for peeing in the kitchen.
I wonder what makes that area so crazy liberal? Too many colleges where people don’t actually have to produce anything possibly.
June 8th, 2005 at 3:07 pm
This seems like legislating morality to me. I would never hit my child for any reason, but I don’t think I should impose my standards on others. But really, hitting you child as discipline just fosters anger and embarrassment, so its not very useful in teaching them anything. I take away fun things, like TV or Playstation.
June 8th, 2005 at 4:19 pm
Note that there is a HUGE difference between spanking and “slapping” or “hitting” or “beating.” If you spank your child, it can never be in anger. It’s all about context.
I resented my parents more for taking away things than for any corporal punishment. And really, spanking isn’t for kids over the age of 7 or 8. By that time they are able to reason fairly well and other punishments are more effective.
June 8th, 2005 at 10:23 pm
You’re a total pussy.
REad the works of a real man, James “Dogbeater” Dobson, who believes that infant-whipping is a swell notion, and relates his story of his own felonious leather-belting of his very own puppy Dachshund in his own book, The Strong-Willed Child.
Dogbeater is one sick guy. Can you deal with that?
June 9th, 2005 at 11:57 am
“This seems like legislating morality to me. I would never hit my child for any reason, but I don’t think I should impose my standards on others”
Holy crud. “I don’t abuse my kids but I believe if other parents want to abuse their kids they should be allowed to”
Real smart.
Matt, you’re not a parent as you said, so you can’t really grasp this reality. I don’t hit my kids, and I admit sometimes I have to tell them they’re lucky I don’t hit and/or hurt them as other parents might. But all in all hitting is abuse. And here’s the real fact to think about. Even though we may all debate this issue from all sides for and against, the underlying fact is that the most important factor is what the (abused) child thinks. That child feels abused no matter how a parent polishes their motivations and reasonings.
June 9th, 2005 at 3:48 pm
I think Anne M sees things like you do, todd. She sees it as a form of child abuse, but the fact is some others do not. So, to them, spanking a 6 year old isn’t child abuse, it’s discipline.
You’re right, no matter where you sit on this issue, it’s what the child thinks. To those who do use corporal punishment: Maybe next time you could ask your child what he/she thinks is happening in regards to her punishment, and either explain why you’re doing it or stop doing it.
I have a 16 month old, so I’m not at this stage of a child’s development yet.
This is, of course, a distinct possibility that I don’t know what I’m talking about.
June 9th, 2005 at 9:28 pm
Spanking is NOT abuse! My parents spanked me (although they never full-on hit me) and my dad even pinched me a couple times when I was younger. But there wasn’t even one second in my childhood when I considered them mean or myself abused! I knew that when I was spanked, I had done something wrong. Truth be told, my parents and I got along so well, that the thing that upset me most about being spanked was the fact that they were mad at me for that moment.
June 10th, 2005 at 8:33 am
So even if your (hyphetical) 3 year-old keeps trying - over and over again, even after you have emphatically told the child NOT to do that - to stick a penny into an electrical outlet or to pull HARD on the TV table - even if your child was repeatedly doing these things, you would NEVER, EVER even give a swat on the backside? A smack on the hand?
Sorry, but a “time-out” or other alternative to corporal punishment just does not grab the attention like a quick swat…it doesn’t convey to the child the seriousness of what he or she is doing.
June 10th, 2005 at 5:08 pm
Oh, GAWD, we wouldn’t want to legislate MORALITY!!
Not THAT!!
BURN them little suckers with fry pans, BEAT them little squealers with belts, TOSS them little whiners acrosst the room, GOD WANTS YOU TO HURT THEM.
June 10th, 2005 at 5:39 pm
No, I never give them a swat on the backside. That is too short-lived. They remember not to do things because they have to think about the reason why they can’t watch TV all week. It’s worked well for me and my kids.
June 12th, 2005 at 9:19 am
Spanking Illegal In Massachusetts?
I know that when my grandmother washed someone’s mouth out with soap she was probably one little step from getting out the electrodes and “administering electric shocks.” Yep, it all goes together.
June 12th, 2005 at 9:23 am
A broad empirical view:
(Comparing Child Outcomes of Physical Punishment
and Alternative Disciplinary Tactics: A Meta-Analysis
By Robert Larzelere; Brett Kuhn
Clinical Child & Family Psychology
Review. Vol 8(1), Mar 2005, pp. 1-37)
If something is safe and effective and does not lead into chatter, psychological manipulation and therapizing then Leftists inevitably seem to come out against it. They seem to be more interested in their moral vanity than anything.
June 12th, 2005 at 2:32 pm
Spanking doesn’t cause permanent damage, it affects a part of the body that isn’t seen in public, it hurts but the pain is temporary. I got swatted a few times as a kid, but only a few and I learned to pretty much behave.
One thing though. I think that spanking should be used sparingly and should be warned about i.e if you do that I’ll spank you. Then if the kid does it anyway, spank them. You shouldn’t haul off and hit a kid in anger.
June 13th, 2005 at 4:19 pm
mr carver… u r an extremist… in order to justify ur argument, u expand upon the small percentage of people that shouldn’t be raising kids in the first place.
anne… y r ur kids spending so much time in front of the tv and playstation that it would matter to them if they lost it? can’t get enough of mommy’s lil babysitters?
child abuse is not right… and we have pretty much equipped the masses with adequate means of hunting down the parents that engage in this behaviour… but, we have done so at a cost… i know this by watching bad things happen to a good parent because the child didn’t get her way at home and decided to tell the teacher she was being abused. the child finally retracted the story but after the damage was already done.
as parents, we try all means of keeping our children safe… and for this we are on the brink of giving up all our rights as parents to do anything about our childrens behavior because they know it…
hell… y should the lawmakers stop at spanking and soap in the mouth when they can make it criminal to even take away the tv… then what will u do anne? no babysitter and no bargaining chip…
June 13th, 2005 at 4:49 pm
The burned hand teaches best. Should we let them burn their hand? Heck no. A light spanking will usually clear it right up.
Let’s take the argument to extremes because that’s what we are talking about - oh, no wait, no it isn’t. I suspect that actual child abuse is already illegal. How about we just enforce those laws and leave a spanking and a little Ivory soap out of it. Lets focus on real and actual child abuse not something like this.
Those of you who are so concerned about what the child thinks and feels, let me tell you as someone who deals with these children, they don’t have problems with spankings and getting their mouths washed out with soap. I haven’t come across them where I work. I suspect they are fairly well adjusted. The ones I see are tortured physically. They are tortured emotionally and they are tortured sexually. Physical torture is horrible and it leaves even worse scars (where you can’t see it) but spanking and washing a childs mouth out is not torture. They are two different things.
Now, you know what is even worse on a child than physical torture? Emotional and sexual abuse. These are the ones that leave the really crippling scars. People are quick to call the police when they see a person disciplining their child (read spanking) but they don’t think twice when a child is being emotionally abused or tortured. And these are the worst scars of them all. However, not once have I seen or heard anything about this in the news or on the internet.
Let’s not throw the baby out with the bathwater. And lets not pass a silly law that will accomplish nothing. Do you really think this will stop abusers from abusing? It sure doesn’t seem to have worked in the war drugs and sure as hell didn’t work during prohibition. Let’s be realistic and then lets focus on REAL problems.
March 21st, 2006 at 10:52 pm
Gosh.. Look at the schools and homes. The parents are no longer empowered but are still are in trouble if there out of control brats “cause of the state” is out of control! I was whip “spanked” whatever you want to call it and I don’t kill people.. Gosh, bring back the parent empowerment and let the belt fall on the a double s and a lot of our problems in this country will come to a end!!!
August 14th, 2006 at 11:35 pm
Spanking a child is not child abuse. Pain lets us know not to do something. If you repeatedly tell a child not to touch a hot stove and the child disobeys when they touch it the first thing they feel is pain. That lets them know not to do that again because it hurts when I do. There are many circumstance where if we make the wrong choice pain will be automatically inflicted. One thing parents should not do is spank when there angry because it can cause one to go overboard. We do it in love. Afterwards we talk to the child about what it is they have done and how they can avoid the conflict again. That is time for reassuring your child that you love him but his action was not okay and is not acceptable. Spanking should not be used as the only discipline as it won’t be as effective. I believe in keeping the consequence natural, closely related to the wrong action but when it comes to lying and defiance toward parents or authority that a sure spanking. I also believe at a certain age spankings need to stop and we need to move more to taking away privileges . At some point are kids have to be more responsible and spanking at kid when he is to old may cause a probelm omstead of fixing it. When they are young thats when we lay the foundation so that spankings aren’t needed by a reasonable age. They must know that we expect obedience and resistence to it will be to their disadvantage. I don’t want my kids to be like the kids on tv telling there parents to shut up because there parents were to scared to discipline them but love without spanking was enough. The truth of the matter is that we discipline because we love our children and want them to grow up to be a blessing to the world not criminals who have no fear or care for authority. They must learn to submit now at home or they won’t do it when they are older.
September 10th, 2007 at 3:16 pm
I grew up with a spanking, paddling, whipping maniac of a father. I have, to the ripe old age of 39, resented him. I have also just begun therapy to try and forgive him. I don’t care if he lives or dies, if not die, just live for my mothers sake.
I am facing a dilemma now. My long divorced boyfriend and his 2 boys have been living with my son & I since April. We have never struck our children. Until yesterday. The 12 yr old was completely out of control. Hitting the other children, actually pulled a knife and made threats, then proceeded to collect “his” things and demand to be taken to his mom’s. The last straw was him tellin his father to “F***OFF!” He got a smack across the face. Then he proceeded to punch back and curse some more. One more smack. Then a time out, some tylenol, and finally home to mom. Mom is know claiming child abuse………..WOW. Do I believe in spanking? No, I am against it. But should it be abuse. No WAY!
October 14th, 2007 at 2:17 am
I think it is different for every parent, and the tempermant of the child that they are dealing with. While I never condone smacking any child hard, I swatted my daughter on the butt a couple times, but it always seemed futile, and I ended up feeling bad about it. I noticed it made her more aggressive, even in weeks and days that proceeded the spanking. She would hit me or tell me to “stop it!” and this was an exact replica of what I had done to her. It just made me feel so awful. We now stick to time outs which is much more effective. The only things the spanking and yelling do is teach her to be violent. I am sure different children react different ways though.
October 14th, 2007 at 2:26 am
Also, I wanted to comment about yelling. I don’t think screaming at a child is very effective. I yell at my daughter when she is about to do something dangerous and it never stops her. I usually yell at her, because I am too lazy to get up and physically remove her from the situation. I am in good shape too, but sometimes I just get tired and resort to the yelling. I really with I could change that. Overall I think I am doing pretty ok though, and I have a happy healthy girl. Parenting is not easy, and I think it is normal to have guilt if you really care about that child.
November 28th, 2007 at 6:59 pm
Has anyone ever thought of maybe spanking AND taking away tv time or playstation time??? Everyone acts like it has to be one or the other! I dont consider spanking corporal punishment. I believe the Bible and the Bible mentions “the rod of correction” I dont think that is on accident!